Mrs Kerry Orders Hunt for Windsurfing SS Agent

[Tiger in Spain 0]

Teresa Heinz Orders Hunt for Windsurfing Secret Service Agent

NewsMax

Teresa Heinz Kerry wants the Secret Service to know how to windsurf in order to better protect her husband, who's an avid practitioner of the sport.

According to Ireland's "Sunday Independent," the ketchup heiress recently "flummoxed the Secret Service when she asked that an agent who knows how to windsurf be added to her husband's detail."

"She was serious," the Independent reports, adding that Secret Service brass "are now - begrudgingly - on the hunt."

Fellow windsurfer and Kerry friend John Chao describes the Massachusetts Democrat as "really good at [the sport.]"

"There's a spiritual side of windsurfing, of facing the elements with just a little board and a tiny sail," Chao told the Manchester Union Leader. "That really appeals to [Kerry]."

Chao confirmed the search for windsurfing bodyguards to protect Kerry, telling the paper that "Secret Service agents will have to pick up a new skill if Kerry does become President."

[keoson7 28]

What an idiot. By all means hire the best windsurfing protectors (our tax) money can buy.

[Ranger12 53]

What an idiot. By all means hire the best windsurfing protectors (our tax) money can buy.

Agreed, like totally. Hang ten dewd!

[Tigermike 3,717]

"There's a spiritual side of windsurfing, of facing the elements with just a little board and a tiny sail," Chao told the Manchester Union Leader. "That really appeals to [Kerry]."

It is so comforting to know that Mr. Kerry is so spiritual. Maybe after the election Kerry can move to one of the many new age communities in New Mexico & Arizona and Shirley McClain can help him commune with his inner self.

[CCTAU 3,536]

"There's a spiritual side of windsurfing, of facing the elements with just a little board and a tiny sail," Chao told the Manchester Union Leader. "That really appeals to [Kerry]."

It is so comforting to know that Mr. Kerry is so spiritual. Maybe after the election Kerry can move to one of the many new age communities in New Mexico & Arizona and Shirley McClain can help him commune with his inner self.

He already does that outwardly. It shows when he debates himself in public.

[AUloggerhead 2,516]

This has to be an early April Fool's joke.

In order to be close enough to protect J eFfin' K while he's windsurfing there's going to be a lot more collisions than there was when he was on the ski slopes. If a detail had to escort him around while he windsurfed, it would make much more sense to put the SS guys on Jetskis. They're faster & a much more stable "gun platform" than balancing on the board after dropping the sail -- if it actually came to that.

These people are so transparent it's pathetic. It's so important for this 61-yr old to be seen actively participating in vigorous sports like dh skiing & windsurfing that it begs the question: why do they have to go to such lengths to make this guy seem less comatose than he appears in his stump speeches?