In Honor of the LSU game this weekend:

[AU! 0]

In what has become an Auburn tradition, it's time to tell the story of how LSU fans became corn dogs. For years, fans around the SEC have commented on the aroma of our friends in Bayou country. They smell different from any other school in the conference. It's a unique stench that well, can only be described as the smell of a corn dog.

Be careful when broaching the subject with LSU people. They are very conscious of their smell and become easily offended at the mention of it. A few years ago during Tiger Walk, Auburn fans broke out into a chant of Corn Dogs! Corn Dogs! Corn Dogs! as some LSU fans walked by. Needless to say the Cajuns became angry and wanted to fight. But the Auburn people just laughed, knowing that the LSU faithful couldn't help it.

But now many of them accept it and even refer to themselves as corn dogs. Click on the link to see.

A few years ago, an unknown Auburn person penned the very essence of the LSU Corn Dog. It was posted by a fan that goes by DeepBlue and appeared on the Autigers.com web site. No one knows his true identity. But he is a modern day Hemingway. Like the annual telling of The Night Before Christmas, I give to you, The Making of the LSU Corn Dog. Enjoy...

LSU fans smell just like corn dogs.

Yes, it is often said, but so, so true.

LSU fans do smell like corn dogs.

I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something

better said at internet distances. Even now, I am afraid.

I am afraid that they'll know I said it. I'll walk past an LSU fan

someday, and he'll see that look in my eye that gives it away.

That look that says, "gee, what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?"

The next thing you know, I'll have flat tires on my car.

If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU

fans how they smell - you know, like corn dogs.

LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue.

I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you

attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell

like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, "Wow, LSU sure does

have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game."

It's hard. I know. It's like when you're having sex and you try to

think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming.

It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or

whatever else. Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: "Gee, I

wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like

a corn dog?"; or "Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying

to make me think it is a real person?" or "What did that giant corn dog

just say?" or "Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly

like corn dogs smell?" or, of course, after a silencer:

"Madam, did you just let the corn dogs out?"

Heck, after what I've heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better

not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are

nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That's okay.

You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them.

They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But

don't be obvious about it. Somehow they know you're trying not to

breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They'll likely

punch you for that if they catch on to what you're doing.

If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it'll permeate your whole

body, and then you'll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But

don't say, "Dang, now I smell like a corn dog." They take offense to

that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff.

Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get

stitches or something. Just don't say it. If you do start smelling like

a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay?

I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your

kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around

town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and

sniff the air. No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in

their expression - indicating they smell corn dogs - might get a wrench

or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that's

dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as

you drive - on some other weekend

I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog

stuff. What puzzles me most is that I've never actually seen any of

these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there's no

mystery there - maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows?

Maybe there's a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there.

Maybe, there's a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume.

Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply -

kind of like fluoride. The politics there are probably weird.

The big political issue during the city election is whether they should

add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. Don't comment on it

though. It's not politically correct over there. It's like a

malnutrition issue or something. It's like the corn dogs are probably

added to the water to prevent starvation or something.

I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you're thinking: "Ahhhh. Here I am

in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I'll bet the people here smell just like

boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe' or some fancy Cajun food." But just

stop thinking that. That's just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.

In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn

dog odor. And don't try masking the odor with something stronger.

They'll curse at you. They'll say something like: "WTF, how dare you

smoke a cigar in my home," or "WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of

corn dogs?" and they'll cuss out your kids too: "WTF!!! Little Mister

fancy pants over here acts like he doesn't want to smell like corn dogs."

Cajuns are not like us. Don't you see that, yet? They are really

sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know

they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all.

I know, I know. We sniff the bammers and the UGA dawgs and the Ole

messes, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don't press

your luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don't refer to Death Valley as corn

dog valley either. I mean that's just wrong. Even if you've been

drinking, they'll beat you up and curse out your kids.

Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction -

even if you're laughing about something else. Like baseball or football,

or sex or whatever. If you can't control yourself and you must laugh

though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their

corn dog body odor from a distance or that you're choking on it or

something. They'll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus

building over just one snort.

So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each

other. You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams.

You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed

my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this

Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home.

Enough with this corn dog talk. Let's play ball...

[autylerw 1]

Genius.

[DKW 86 7,547]

[IslandTiger 0]

Do you like yours with ketchup, mustard or ketchupstard?

Ketchupstard for me...reminds me of highschool

[tigereyes 19]

Great, I am going to the game and now when I see an LSU fan that is all I will think about.

[WarEagle007 1]

That is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Now, can I get some opinions on whether or not I should send this to my LSU girl?

[lsutiga 0]

Irony of all that is we don't even sell corndogs in TS. Go figure.

[townhallsavoy 2]

Irony of all that is we don't even sell corndogs in TS. Go figure.

Ironic or just plain disgusting?

[AUStudent09 2]

I have a bad feeling that my friend will let that slip this weekend. I guess I could just go ahead and hit him in the face and save the LSU fans the trouble.

[aute91 0]

That's funny every time!

[Bluemound Freak 0]

from the sooner board!

[lukeduke 8]

I will not say it on the way to the game, before the game, or getting on the bus after the game. However, if the windows roll down and the bus is in motion, I might let it slip out of a rolled down window

[mowegl 4]

That is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Now, can I get some opinions on whether or not I should send this to my LSU girl?

No you shouldnt. You should send your LSU girl packin.

[WarEagle007 1]

That is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Now, can I get some opinions on whether or not I should send this to my LSU girl?

No you shouldnt. You should send your LSU girl packin.

I misspoke, she's not my girlfriend, just the only girl I know from there, and she took it well, lol.

[The Prowler 1]

I have a bad feeling that my friend will let that slip this weekend. I guess I could just go ahead and hit him in the face and save the LSU fans the trouble.

Yeah...do that, so that it'll look like you aren't associated with your friend. While you're at it rub some Hot Sauce in his eyes, so that they'll definitely think you might be one of Them...even though, you're wearing Auburn gear.

[SouperTiger 0]

I have a bad feeling that my friend will let that slip this weekend. I guess I could just go ahead and hit him in the face and save the LSU fans the trouble.

Yeah...do that, so that it'll look like you aren't associated with your friend. While you're at it rub some Hot Sauce in his eyes, so that they'll definitely think you might be one of Them...even though, you're wearing Auburn gear.

LOL...hot sauce. Just make sure it's Louisiana or Tabasco. Honestly most LSU fans have no idea why the reference was even started. I have never seen a corndog on or near campus and while I occasionally eat one it is far from being a staple food in my house. The only thing I can think of about the reference that MIGHT make even a little sense is that in the south we eat our share of fried foods but even that really doesn't do it for me. Either way I have never seen anyone get mad after being called that because I don't think anyone understands what it means. I will say it sounds better than being called something vulgar which would piss me off. Football rivalries are supposed to be in good fun and not actually about truly hating the rival team. That's why I love the SEC.

[IslandTiger 0]

I have a bad feeling that my friend will let that slip this weekend. I guess I could just go ahead and hit him in the face and save the LSU fans the trouble.

Yeah...do that, so that it'll look like you aren't associated with your friend. While you're at it rub some Hot Sauce in his eyes, so that they'll definitely think you might be one of Them...even though, you're wearing Auburn gear.

LOL...hot sauce. Just make sure it's Louisiana or Tabasco. 1.) Honestly most LSU fans have no idea why the reference was even started. 2.)I have never seen a corndog on or near campus and while I occasionally eat one it is far from being a staple food in my house. The only thing I can think of about the reference that MIGHT make even a little sense is that in the south we eat our share of fried foods but even that really doesn't do it for me. Either way I have never seen anyone get mad after being called that because 3.)I don't think anyone understands what it means. 4.) I will say it sounds better than being called something vulgar which would piss me off. 5.)Football rivalries are supposed to be in good fun and not actually about truly hating the rival team. That's why I love the SEC think they should have football in countries such as Africa, Afghanistan and The Iraq and everywhere like such as.

1.) That's due to what's called "Nasal Fatigue"

2.) It's hard to find a twinkie around a fat kid's house too

3.) I think a lot of people understand it just fine..

4.) How do you feel about "Richard-Noggin??"

5.) I fixed that for you as this ending was more of a proper fit-Thank you Ms. South Carolina

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