Man, I feel like a woman

[SLAG-91 1,631]

A female acquaintance of mine some years ago had her boyfriend, who had just gotten a job as a Kirby salesman, come over to my apartment and practice his pitch. I wanted to gouge my eyeballs out when he was done...

Now, one type of a suction device that I did like using was a Rainbow machine. I don't know if any of y'all have seen them or used one (they're pretty expensive and that alone will prevent me from owning one anytime soon), but they have a base that is filled with water instead of vacuum cleaner bags...dirt goes down to the base and then you just pitch the muddy water out when you're done.

[jumbo 0]

Is a pissed off wife worth more or less than $800? I know my answer to that one, and it would be in the box going back to the Kirby folks.

Then again, my wife tends to let most things go easily, especially if I bring her chocolates or some similar bribe to get her mind off of whatever it is I'm trying to get out of.

that would work for me if I could ever make it home with a full box of chocolates!

Galen have you used the Kirby? It might be worth it!

[AUdaREALsecTigers 2]

A female acquaintance of mine some years ago had her boyfriend, who had just gotten a job as a Kirby salesman, come over to my apartment and practice his pitch. I wanted to gouge my eyeballs out when he was done...

Now, one type of a suction device that I did like using was a Rainbow machine. I don't know if any of y'all have seen them or used one (they're pretty expensive and that alone will prevent me from owning one anytime soon), but they have a base that is filled with water instead of vacuum cleaner bags...dirt goes down to the base and then you just pitch the muddy water out when you're done.

We have one of those. They work really well (says the wife). It was a gift. Must be big business 'cause USED I think it was still around four bills.

[GalensGhost 0]

Galen have you used the Kirby? It might be worth it!

No, I haven't used it. The battle is on.

Sent them a cancellation letter. Regular mail, certified mail, fax and Fed Ex. Just to make sure they got it.

I did wuss out to a degree because to avoid dealing with the pressure police again I took the thing to my office (where I won't be for a week or so) and left it there for them to pick up.

I'm having a hose spigot placed on the front porch so I can more easily hose any other salesmen who show up. And that applies to girl scouts, jehovah's witness, cheerleaders, the band, home security guys, and more.

[Tigermike 3,903]

What you should do is call and ask the Kirby sales people back but have an Amway presentation scheduled for the same time and make them sit through that.

[TigerHeat 9]

Galen have you used the Kirby? It might be worth it!

I'm having a hose spigot placed on the front porch so I can more easily hose any other salesmen who show up. And that applies to girl scouts, jehovah's witness, cheerleaders, the band, home security guys, and more.

Galen, you just need a good German Shepherd.

[otterinbham 0]

Galen have you used the Kirby? It might be worth it!

I'm having a hose spigot placed on the front porch so I can more easily hose any other salesmen who show up. And that applies to girl scouts, jehovah's witness, cheerleaders, the band, home security guys, and more.

Galen, you just need a good German Shepherd.

Mr. Bates down the street had a shotgun loaded with rock salt--or at least he claimed pretty loudly if we cut across his lawn. Needless to say, we didn't try to sell him any Cub Scout raffle tickets.

[saniflush 0]

What you should do is call and ask the Kirby sales people back but have an Amway presentation scheduled for the same time and make them sit through that.

Or instead of them sitting through it maybe it goes off like a cage match. "Ok folks I have $50 that I am allowed to put toward one of your products. Who wants it?"

You could get $50 of entertainment out of it.

[GalensGhost 0]

Kirby update:

So far no acknowledgement of the cancellation. They've been faxed and will be served overnight mail tomorrow morning. We'll see.

[GalensGhost 0]

The Kirby is GONE!! Whether or not I get the green returned is another story altogether.

[saniflush 0]

Have you been able to talk some sense into Mrs GG and the little ghost concerning the mites and such? Or are you looking for a new haunt?

[GalensGhost 0]

Have you been able to talk some sense into Mrs GG and the little ghost concerning the mites and such? Or are you looking for a new haunt?

Took a day for the magic to wear off with the wife. She's okay with it now after the glow faded -- particularly since I told her I'd use a couple hundred of the money we'd spent on a Kirby to send her and my 16-year old to the spa for Mother's Day.

The seven-year old? The next morning she looked at the stupid Kirby and asked if I was going to turn it on. She said she didn't like loud noises and it was pretty scary. She wanted me to send it back. So I asked her about the dust mites. She has an imagination the size of Alaska. She said she'd made pets out of them so it was okay.

[autiger518 1]

Have you been able to talk some sense into Mrs GG and the little ghost concerning the mites and such? Or are you looking for a new haunt?

Took a day for the magic to wear off with the wife. She's okay with it now after the glow faded -- particularly since I told her I'd use a couple hundred of the money we'd spent on a Kirby to send her and my 16-year old to the spa for Mother's Day.

The seven-year old? The next morning she looked at the stupid Kirby and asked if I was going to turn it on. She said she didn't like loud noises and it was pretty scary. She wanted me to send it back. So I asked her about the dust mites. She has an imagination the size of Alaska. She said she'd made pets out of them so it was okay.

Cute little things ain't they? I call this one Kirby.

[saniflush 0]

Have you been able to talk some sense into Mrs GG and the little ghost concerning the mites and such? Or are you looking for a new haunt?

Took a day for the magic to wear off with the wife. She's okay with it now after the glow faded -- particularly since I told her I'd use a couple hundred of the money we'd spent on a Kirby to send her and my 16-year old to the spa for Mother's Day.

The seven-year old? The next morning she looked at the stupid Kirby and asked if I was going to turn it on. She said she didn't like loud noises and it was pretty scary. She wanted me to send it back. So I asked her about the dust mites. She has an imagination the size of Alaska. She said she'd made pets out of them so it was okay.

Maybe she could start naming them after UAT football players....

"Here is Joe, he likes to kiss girls goodnight. This one is called Kenny, he likes to dodge the IRS." You get the idea.

[TDAuburn 2]

I have a crystal ball and can see the future. Behold... GG enjoying retirement.

[AFTiger 282]

I like my Roomba. Turn it on and leave.

[saniflush 0]

I have a crystal ball and can see the future. Behold... GG enjoying retirement.

Great movie!

[jared52 4,358]

I am late to this party, but WOW! $800 for a vacuum that doesn't do the work by itself and empty out all the dirt by itself? I'm glad you got to send it back!

[GalensGhost 0]

I am late to this party, but WOW! $800 for a vacuum that doesn't do the work by itself and empty out all the dirt by itself? I'm glad you got to send it back!

$800 was a steal compared to how these guys raped other people. On some of the consumer sites like ripoff.com and complaints.com I've seen people who paid as much as $2K for the things. Most are over $1K.

PLEASE tell me I'm not the only guy in the state who got reamed by an Orek, Kirby or Rainbow assault...

In researching Kirby (after the fact, of course) I ran across this story which played out very much like mine, except I ended up being a temporary sucker: http://www.cockeyed.com/citizen/kirby/kirby.html

[Jenny AU-92 0]

In researching Kirby (after the fact, of course) I ran across this story which played out very much like mine, except I ended up being a temporary sucker: http://www.cockeyed.com/citizen/kirby/kirby.html

i LOVE that guy's site.

And Galen, this last paragraph was aimed right at your pointed little head:

Regarding your marriage: If you are married, and haven't yet experienced a Kirby vacuum salesman, it might be a good idea to discuss the absurdity of $1,290 vacuum cleaners right now, before a vacuum salesman arrives. Consider drafting a "love contract to not buy thousand-dollar vacuum cleaners". This pre-planning may help prepare you for that day when the Kirby man comes calling.

[GalensGhost 0]

And Galen, this last paragraph was aimed right at your pointed little head:

My head's big and round, baby. Big and round.

[tiger88 934]

Kirby vacuum salesmen invaded the home yesterday while I was out of town. They arrived about 3 p.m. and after a relentless three hours had the wife and kids broken down and convinced we could not live without this machine.

I got home and started telling them to get out at $1500 and 8 p.m. At 9:30 the thing was still sitting in my floor and my wife was asking for a private conference with me to explain why she thought she needed it. Jeez, it's a vacuum. My seven year old was explaining dust mites and why she would no longer sleep in her bed unless there was a Kirby nearby.

I ended up giving these guys $800 at nearly 10 p.m. partially to make them leave and partially because I gave in to the terroristic threats that had my family on edge. MITES! FILTH! ALLERGIES! I woke up this morning awash in shame. Two questions:

1) Anybody else have one of these things and are they truly worth a crap or did I get completely bamboozled?

2) Why do I feel like I just did an extended scene on the great HBO series Oz?

I sold premium cookware ($2-3000/set at the time) for six years and knew dozens of ex-vacuum sales guys many of whom were ex-kirby guys.

Here's my $.02. based on endless hours of talking about vac's.

You got a good price. The lowest I've heard of one going for is around $600 without some really weird circumstances.

They are worth it. If the thing ever tears up they will give you a brand spanking new one. They do a tremendous job of vacuuming. Some of the gimmicks they use on the shows though are truly gimmicks. There are service fees for some repairs (normal wear and tear type repairs) though most salespeople make it sound like there isn't.

They aren't the best premium vacuum. Rainbow and/or thermax are the best in most vacuum guys opinions. However, they don't come down on the price like kirby does. Kirby is cut throat afa business tactics go. They will sell your neighbor the same vac they sold you for $1500-$2300 if he is an easy target then sell the next guy one for 8-900. They will screw their own people at the drop of a hat. But it is an excellent vacuum and definitely worth $800 imo.

p.s. Make sure your wife knows how the self propel works on it. Some people complain that the thing is way too hard to push. In actuality they were never properly shown how to use the self-propel.

JMO.

[aumd03 2]

tiger88, are you a closet Kirby salesman? wait, cookware? you can't cook in a kirby can you?

[jumbo 0]

Rico

Now, if you invest in the 24-piece set

I'm gonna throw in a little gift.

Man

So, what's the gift?

Rico

I bet you folks don't have one of these.

Woman

I want that.

Rico

You see, this ain't your run-of-the-mill "crapper-ware."

These are some serious "NuPont" fiber-woven bowls.

Man

So, if we purchase the 24-piece set...

the mini sailboat is included?

Rico

That's correct, sir.

Lance, you look like a strong young pup.

Why don't you see if you can give that a nice tear.

Don't hurt yourself now.

Man

I can't do it.

Can't.

Rico

So, uh...

how does the "dealio" sound to you?

[saniflush 0]

Kirby vacuum salesmen invaded the home yesterday while I was out of town. They arrived about 3 p.m. and after a relentless three hours had the wife and kids broken down and convinced we could not live without this machine.

I got home and started telling them to get out at $1500 and 8 p.m. At 9:30 the thing was still sitting in my floor and my wife was asking for a private conference with me to explain why she thought she needed it. Jeez, it's a vacuum. My seven year old was explaining dust mites and why she would no longer sleep in her bed unless there was a Kirby nearby.

I ended up giving these guys $800 at nearly 10 p.m. partially to make them leave and partially because I gave in to the terroristic threats that had my family on edge. MITES! FILTH! ALLERGIES! I woke up this morning awash in shame. Two questions:

1) Anybody else have one of these things and are they truly worth a crap or did I get completely bamboozled?

2) Why do I feel like I just did an extended scene on the great HBO series Oz?

I sold premium cookware ($2-3000/set at the time) for six years and knew dozens of ex-vacuum sales guys many of whom were ex-kirby guys.

Here's my $.02. based on endless hours of talking about vac's.

You got a good price. The lowest I've heard of one going for is around $600 without some really weird circumstances.

They are worth it. If the thing ever tears up they will give you a brand spanking new one. They do a tremendous job of vacuuming. Some of the gimmicks they use on the shows though are truly gimmicks. There are service fees for some repairs (normal wear and tear type repairs) though most salespeople make it sound like there isn't.

They aren't the best premium vacuum. Rainbow and/or thermax are the best in most vacuum guys opinions. However, they don't come down on the price like kirby does. Kirby is cut throat afa business tactics go. They will sell your neighbor the same vac they sold you for $1500-$2300 if he is an easy target then sell the next guy one for 8-900. They will screw their own people at the drop of a hat. But it is an excellent vacuum and definitely worth $800 imo.

p.s. Make sure your wife knows how the self propel works on it. Some people complain that the thing is way too hard to push. In actuality they were never properly shown how to use the self-propel.

JMO.

Do you also have a line of knives?